The Gift I Gave My Father (A Box of Dominoes to Say “Your Move”)
A post-Father’s Day reflection for when the communication is present, but the connection is not
Father’s Day doesn’t cut like it used to.
But it still stings in quiet, familiar ways.
I didn’t grow up expecting much interaction on special days.
I learned early that love might show up late—or sideways.
From both my parents, but my father evades me for different reasons than mom does. His connection,when it comes, is superficial.
No Christmas acknowledgment last year—just a quick text.
Birthdays are always a day late. Another brief message. Another, check-off of a duty owed.
It might look like I need gifts to feel seen.
It might seem superficial.
But there’s something about the way he’s not forgetful—
he’s intentional. He's not connecting deeper with me on purpose. Breadcrumbs.
He’s not absent. Or is he?
Just enough contact. Not too much.
Obligation: checked.
When I respond with more—something real, something tender—
he often disappears.
This year, I gave him a box of dominoes.
To anyone else, it might look like a random gift.
But I knew there was something underneath.
I just couldn’t name it—until now.
Dominoes is a game of patterns, matching, and consequence.
You can’t play unless you meet the other side.
Each move requires a response.
That’s what I gave him: a metaphor.
“I’m offering a piece.
Can you meet me here?”
But more than that—
I gave a gift that didn’t feel like I tried too hard.
I’m matching you—not the pattern on the rectangle,
but your own energy.
Low effort. Measured.
Like the game is finally fair. I'm no longer trying harder. It's your move now.
This is honesty—not meanness.
He might always retreat into short bursts of effort.
He might never say the things I’ve longed to hear.
But I don’t have to be performative about peace.
And I don’t have to contort myself for crumbs.
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If you’ve ever gotten one-liners when you needed heart,
If you’ve ever stayed open while someone kept dodging you—
this is for you.
You’re not asking for too much.
You’re offering more than most people dare.
And that’s a kind of power no text thread can contain.